A Golden Goddess + Four Dwarves Make a Dirty Snow White: Coming to Peace with my Sexuality
Now, there’s two words that are laid down, practically dripping with, emotional baggage. We fling them around as if they weigh nothing. But no woman wants to wear either of them.
Sadly, this dichotomy – and the lack of space between them (like between the aforementioned virgin’s legs) – is the perfect metaphor for female sexuality today.
If we were to define women’s sexuality by today’s male porn standards we might even have to admit that, not only is there no space between the terms, but we are actually expected to be (supposed to desire being) both: Virginal on the outside and a Whore in the bedroom.
I don’t want to be that either.
Interestingly, if we drop the baggage and allow our judgement to lie like long abandoned bed sheets, that sentence becomes nothing more than a definition.
Because, no surprise, we’ve got everything ass backwards.
A real Virgin could be a Whore if she wanted to; as she’s a woman who belongs to herself she can put as many men on their knees (until they cry out in worship) as she likes.
Powerful. Independent. Untied.
No wonder they scrubbed her down and dirtied her up. Tore her in two: the Sacred and the Slut.
I don’t want to be an Aphrodite – a Porn Star Goddess if ever there was one – any more than I want to be the Virgin Mary. If these are the only choices we have, I’m screwed.
I’d rather be Freyja.
There was no God (or Elf) she hadn’t straddled, yet she remained the most “glorious of the Goddesses”. Her sexuality was her own.
They tell a story about a necklace that Freyja wanted. I’m not big on jewelry myself, but considering this necklace was important enough to get it’s own name it must have been some bauble. She offered it’s makers – four Dwarves (the mythical type with beards and little hammers) – silver and gold ( money is no object for her, she’s a Goddess people), but the Dwarves didn’t need, didn’t want it (I guess they had enough already).
I don’t know if the next part is just cheek, if they thought she’d never do it, or if they just felt left out after all those Gods and Elves got some (Goddess of Beauty and Love, Freyja, it’s safe to say, is ‘Da Original Bomb). So, the boys told her they were willing to negotiate; she could have the golden, glittering heart of her desire in exchange for one thing only: a night in the sac with each of them. One night, four Dwarves, most of a week’s work.
Hey, why not.
(Maybe she was curious after all the Gods and Elves.)
So, for four nights in a row the Goddess pulled on her fishnets, tightened her bustier, slathered on some red lips and met each dwarf in turn. The story isn’t clear on whether dinner and a drink were provided, all we know is that after four nights the Golden Goddess went home with her necklace. We can assume it was well earned and the Dwarves were fully spent (all the Gods and Elves has to teach you something), but we’re only told that Freyja went home “as if nothing had happened”.
(I suppose the boys didn’t measure up after all.)
Why, when we say “Sexuality” are we always referring to Who motivates our sex? I think it’s about time we started talking about some Hows and Whys.
Which reminds me, I read this book, Why Women Have Sex, and learned that women have sex just to try it, out of obligation, to have fun, to procreate, out of spite, because it’s expected of them, because they love it, to get revenge, to feel fulfilled, to create a connection, because they are bored…
Women have sex for all the same reasons men do. Book worthy fact.
Is this shocking? Should it be? Shouldn’t it be normal?
How do we find our way back to Freyja from here?
I don’t want stud muffins and bimbos, I’d much rather be Divine in Bed. Tantric. Empowered. Mine.
Who owns my body (your body) right now? Who owns my sex act – your sex act – our sexuality? Because I can honestly say it’s not me.
I know where it went. It was beaten, burned, tortured, caged in, thrust, moaned, exploited, shamed out of us. But I’m damn well ready to have it back. All it’s filthy shine and it’s Holy Prostitution.
Me: Powerful. Independent. Unrestrained. I’m taking it back.