Daring Monday: Catch Some ZZZs

So, I had a completely different challenge planned for this week; then on Friday Carlos (from Conscious Me) posted a Dare for himself on getting enough sleep; which I promptly followed with a movie binge last night, leading to exhaustion today. So, it only seemed natural today – as my eyelids keep trying to close themselves -that the rest of us would jump on Carlos’ bandwagon and talk about getting some sleep – once and for all.

I have issues with sleep; I have other friends who have issues with sleep, but most of their problems revolve around kids, but the Kungfu Master has always been a great sleeper. He was sleeping through the night at only a couple of months old, can sleep through anything, and besides which is now well into his teenage years. No, my sleep issues are all my own.

As anyone else who has struggled with depression will tell you, sleep is a major factor – as both a symptom and aggravator – with it. Sleep is a great tool for avoidance; whether you oversleep or undersleep either one gives you the opportunity to block out the rest of life. Sadly, I can suffer from either one of the extremes (or both of them at the same time).

Last night for example, I was up until 2:30 (I’m so lucky Wakizashi isn’t reading this) watching movies. Why? No particular reason. I knew I had to be up at a particular time today (which meant no sleeping in); I knew I didn’t need to, or particularly want to, watch the next movie and yet… There I was.

I’m much more cautious about my oversleeping than my undersleeping. I can make a clear correlation between the feeling that I don’t want to get out of bed and the escalating symptoms of depression. If I find myself trying to force sleep to return and have no physical reason (like, say, staying up till 3 in the morning) to need the sleep I begin to take proactive measures. I never allow myself to indulge the lure of the staying in bed.

But, despite my awareness of the emotional factors that feed my undersleeping (and so, it’s connection with issues such as depression) I still allow myself to indulge it. I’ve gone on these TV binges (I will occasionally stay up all night reading, but that’s harder to do [reading can't keep you awake even with your eyes closed] and is normally motivated by nothing more than a great plot or bad timing) for years now, but it’s only in the last year or two that I’ve really figured out the emotional connection to why I’m doing it.

In fact, you can pretty much guarantee that if I’m watching more than a couple shows or movies in a row – especially if I’m alone – there’s one of a few things going on.

1. Hormones – I don’t know why, but there’s a few days just before my cycle starts where I crave chick flicks – romance and tears and estrogen are a powerful combination apparently. This isn’t usually cause to worry and probably won’t keep me up past midnight (which is a manageable bedtime for me).
2. Something Bad Happened – If I’m really upset, worried or hurt about something I can’t change or undo I want nothing more than to stop having to feel the bad feelings – nothing numbs so well as TV does. This is, of course, not a healthy coping mechanism, but some days I give in and allow myself to indulge; I try to limit it though.
3. I’m Overwhelmed – This is the key problem. When I feel like I’m not making any progress, like I can’t possible get what I want to accomplish done, or like I’ve lost all control of my time I will flee to the television and be up all hours of the night. It’s ridiculous because it keeps me from being able to function well for at least a day or so, and yet, I just can’t give up and go to bed. It’s like I’m battling with the passage of time itself – trying desperately to declare my dominance over it. It’s a battle I lose every time.

So, I’m aware that your issues with sleep might be a little less melodramatic than mine are. I mean, you may have nothing greater to deal with than a sleep-hating toddler or a snoring spouse. Still, with exhaustion creeping up on me this morning I know that most of us are feeling at least a little tired a lot of the time. We can all use a few days with a really good night’s sleep.

I’ve decided that for this week I’m going to practice some self-care through assertive discipline: that is to say, I’m going to make myself go to bed by 10:30 all week. Why don’t you join me?

Over to You
What’s your relationship to sleep? Is it healthy? Melodramatic? When was the last time you actually examined your sleep habits and their motivation? Is it about time you did so? Have you had enough sleep lately or do you need to join me with a strict “bedtime” for this week? What is the root of your sleep problems: Emotional, Psychological, External or Physical? Is there something you can do this week to help address this issue for the long-term?

Just in case you find this challenge difficult to do because of physical reasons (you just can’t get to sleep) here’s a few tips to help you:
1. Get to bed before 10pm – our bodies are designed to sleep at dark and so our melatonin levels alter to help us to that, but if you are still up after 10pm they start to drop again – hit the hay before the pivotle time and take advantage of your body’s natural systems.
2. Vent – The Kungfu Master has a hard time getting to sleep the last few years and I find it has a lot to do with being a high energy person who sits in front of a computer all day. The days he exerts himself physically he knocks himself out in no time. If this sounds like you you might try adding a little physical exertion to your day, or do some strenuous exercise about an hour or so before bedtime. You can also use venting if it is emotional excess keeping your mind awake; talk to the person involved, journal, or whatever you need to do to release your stress.
3. Relax – Too often we think we can just go from being UP to being asleep. We need to give our minds time to shift gears. Start an evening routine that soothes you and always leads to getting into bed. Go for a walk, do some yoga, prayer, or meditation, put on some soothing music, etc… Even just having a night ritual that you go about with quiet and focus (teeth, PJs, lock doors etc…) can tell your mind it’s time to change gears. (If you need it there are some great – yes they really work – CDs out now that help your mind shift into sleep mode like this one: Sleep Deeply) Personally, I find that s*x is a great sleep aid – is that to much information?
4. Environment – If a toddler wakes you up early you might need to start going to be 30mins earlier. Do you need to move your bed? What is the lighting in your room like? Temperature? etc…

Here’s to a few nights full of deep, relaxing, and sweet dreams!