Daring Monday: Create Your Red Tent

Have you ever read Anita Diamant’s The Red Tent? It’s a great novel that reexamines a classical Old Testament story from a feminist point of view. It’s rich and alive and (for me) thought provoking; I can’t recommend it highly enough.

The story begins in, and keeps coming back to, what Diamant calls “the Red Tent” – where the women in the community retreat to during the three days of their menstruation. Here it’s safe for the women to be themselves, stories are told, bonds are formed, and wisdom is shared.

Obviously, our culture no longer honours or discusses the idea of a Red Tent ritual; we are much more inclined to completely ignore the process of menstruation if anything at all. I believe I’ve talked to you before about my own issues with and journey through menstruation, so you should already know that I’m complete against the mentality of pretending periods don’t happen, as well as the connected concept of it being gross. But that’s not the point of this post, so let’s move on shall we?

I Said LISTEN to Me

Around the beginning of this year I had a one-two slam with my period. As a general rule, I try not to complain about getting my period, I, more than so many others, know that each month it shows up is a gift and a sign that I’m well and on the right path. Still, the first day of my period is terrible; I don’t suffer as much as my little sister does, but it does invite curling up on the coach for the majority of the day. And, on that particular month I not only had my requisite cramps, but I found myself wiped out with a cold and a tooth infection.

To put it briefly, I was suffering and miserable. My cycle, pretty reliably, lasts four to five days, but the cold went on and on for at least a week and half; most of that time was spent lying on the couch completely wiped.

When I sat with myself and asked what the problem was my Spirit was very clear: I had over extended myself and was reaping the results of that. The added strain on my system of so much blood loss pushed my immune system over the edge that my crazy sleeping schedule, stress level, and general busyness had had it teetering on. I knew I needed to start finding a way to honour my self and to invest a little self care into my body while I was at it.

I’d read other, more modern and non-fiction, material that had talked about having a practice of keeping a “moon lodge” or “red tent” during your period, but hadn’t paid them much attention – after all, they seemed so impractical in our day and age. But, after the one-two punchI was willing to give it a try.

The next month, I reluctantly decided to try taking three days off (the length of most “natural” periods if we lived in a perfect world), and the need for it was firmly reinforced when I yet again received a one-two slam of cold and cramps on the exact day my period started.

Right, I got the bloody message. You’d like me to pay attention to my self-care. Message heard.

A Practice is Started

I have, faithfully, honoured that self guidance each month since then. When my cycle begins I take three days, camp out on the couch and do nothing that looks like work. I watch movies, read books, tweet with friends, journal – in other words, I behave very selfishly. The boys (that is my husband and son) are left to fend for themselves (and me too actually, as I don’t cook or clean) and I don’t do anything I don’t absolutely have to.

This idea has become an essential means of honouring my Self. Not just who I am as an individual, but my womanhood too. It reminds me that I’m worthy of care and attention, and that over the course of a month I earn the right for a little pampering and self-care. Likewise, my family shows their honour and respect for me by allowing and supporting what sometimes feels like self-indulgence.

I started calling it my Red Tent time because of the Diamant book, and because it was discrete enough to mention and yet obvious enough to not need too much of an explanation. I like it. I wonder, do you like it too?

Where’s Your Red Tent?

If you are reading this post it’s because a Daring Monday came around (again) while I was caring for myself and my body by not working for three days. I’m in my tent, but I kindly took the time to program this publication for you.

And, while I sit here all self-indulgent in my PJs on the couch with some mushy movie playing, I’d like to know: Where’s your red tent?

I can’t tell you how valuable this practice has been to my personal growth and to my spiritul development as a woman, and I wish I could introduce every woman to some kind of Red Tent practice, but it’s not the actual vehicle that matters so much. (Of course not, otherwise what would the men reading this get from it?) What really matters is the honouring of yourself.

Over to You:
In what way can you honour yourself and nurture your body? What messages has your Spirit/Body been trying to get across to you that you just don’t seem to be getting? Can you integrate some kind of Red Tent into your current or upcoming cycle? What practice (for you to whom a red tent is completely irrelevant) could you replace it with that would not only be caring and indulging to yourself, but an honouring of your essential self (as a man, as a woman too)?

This month, I dare you to join me and go over the top in self-indulgence and selfishness, you might find that it’s exactly what you needed!

Loving the Daring Monday Journey? Want more? Visit the Daring Mondays page to peruse all my past Daring Posts!