Daring Mondays: I Don’t Work on Weekends

It is a little known fact, but I don’t work on weekends. I also don’t work in the evenings (unless teaching a course, etc.); this isn’t by my own design, it’s actually a strict schedule designed and enforced by Wakizashi. Things would be different if I had a day job and was, say, trying to run Limitless Living on the side, but I don’t, Limitless Living is my day job. Which, according to my lovely husband, means that you only work on it in the day – on weekdays – like every other day job.

Welcome to my theme park

See, I am a woman of extreme phases. When I was a kid I ate so much tomato soup that for years afterwards I couldn’t stand the stuff. I’ve done the same thing with ketchup chips, chick lit and mystery novels, research subjects beyond measure, and yes, my work too. I’ll do a thing until I am so completely immersed in it I have no other thoughts, opinions, or actions. I’ll watch so many episodes of Angel that I have no choice but to go cold turkey to make the strange and dark dreams stop. This is just the way I am.

It didn’t take long for Wakizashi to realize that this was causing a serious problem when it came to the whole “working at home” thing for me. It meant that I’d eat, sleep, and breathe my work. I’d work before I got dressed, work while I was in the shower (one of the things about my work is that a lot of it happens in my head), work instead of cooking, work while we were watching TV (which only lowers the caliber of the work, I assure you) – I’d work and work and work and then… I’d stop working.

I’d be exhausted, emotional, frustrated and depressed. And I’d refuse to touch my work – for months at a time. Until I got frustrated and emotional about being useless, had a new idea, and started all over again. As difficult and draining as this kind of cycle is for me, it’s terrible for the boys (that is, my son and husband); they either can’t get my attention or have to live through my misery.

Once Wakizashi had ridden the roller coaster a few times he decided to put a stop to it. That’s when the “no working in the evenings” rule started being applied. He made me create a schedule that had “work hours” and non-work hours. I’m not allowed to do any non-work things during my work hours. No cooking, no housework, no doodling flowers while watching chick flicks. And I am definitely not allowed to work during the “off” hours.

It’s only good self-care.

In the past I’ve fought Wakizashi’s rules. I’ve made excuses (I’ve got a deadline, etc) and I’ve just blatantly ignored his advice. When I do, it always ends badly.

Lately, I’m finding that he’s right, I need this kind of system. It’s hard when the things you immerse yourself in for work are the same kind of things you have fun with too. When you are just as professionally and personally interested in feminine spirituality or intuition the edges all start to fuzz out and eventually you feel like you are losing track of your Self. When you read, write, think, and talk about work related topics all day only to dream about them all night you begin to be exhausted all of the time – no matter how much you like your work.

I know that my good emotional health relies on me carefully balancing how much I put out and how often I remember to refill my Self. In my work I tell women over and over again that they need to take care of themselves; which means that I need to take care of myself. That’s why I’m now a willing follower of the “weekend working rules,” I like this job, I want be doing it years and years from now and I want to still like it then too. I also want to feel less like a roller coaster car in my everyday life.

So, I don’t work on weekends.

Your Weekend Working Rule

You may be wondering where the dare is in all of this, seeing as I already follow the rule. But the thing is, I’m not always so strict about it obeying the rule, and I think all of us are a little prone to forget our boundaries when it comes to self-care. So this week, I’m wondering, what are your weekend working rules? What boundaries do you have up that keep you sane and help you to love your life more? What boundaries do you need to set up?

This week, the challenge is to maintain my non-work hour boundaries (she says typing past 6pm) and to consciously make an effort to do completely un-work related fun things in those evening hours (rather than sneaking in a work-like book or vegging in front of the TV). Care to join me?