Hey, Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day

Wakizashi has suddenly become fully committed to running; he’s obsessed with it. He runs on a faithful schedule, watches documentaries, reads books (at an unprecedented Wakizashi rate), and talks and thinks about running non-stop. And, as is typical of my husband, he’s trying to convert me to running too.

I’m not really a runner. You remember in Jr. High when your class had to run around the block at school (it must have been a pre-measured run, but I don’t know what it is or even what the goal is)? Despite been skinny, active and fit (words, that sadly, can no longer be used to describe me) I always ended up bringing up the rear with our classes chubby boy. Running always, without fail, brought on a side stitch or asthma attack. I figure, if I couldn’t run at my fittest then I shouldn’t be expected to attempt it while I’m close to being describable as my least fit. Walking is much more my thing.

That said, for some reason a chart in one of Wakizashi’s running books caught my attention. It was a Beginner’s program for starting to run.
1. A 30 min walk daily, for eight days in a row.
2. Begin jogging 3 mins followed by walking 4 mins repeat pattern till 30 min mark is reached.
etc…

I cannot tell you why, but this plan seems to hold a strange appeal to me. As much as I like walking, I’ve been playing avoidance games when it comes to re-establishing the habit in my life all summer. I’ve skipped walks, or gone out for 10 mins and called it done. Walking is essential to my overall well-being (a fact established through experience) and is my primary form of exercise, and yet I’ve been doing everything possible to avoid it (we should maybe talk about my issues avoidance and procrastination in a later post).

All of this leads me to, naturally, consider how anyone goes about implementing changes in their lives.

We all know the factoid that it takes 21 Days to form a habit (for those non-mathematical people among you, this works out to three weeks); the premise is that if you preform an action every day for three weeks it will become ingrained in us as a habit and won’t be so easily dismissed by our conscious mind.

This might be true, but it does lack a little completeness in practice (as most of us can attest to). First, how do you ensure that you do the thing every day for 21 days in a row? How do you keep from forgetting before the habit is established? Second, what happens if you miss a day? Do you start over at Day 1 or will it be enough to become a habit if you just hit 21 Days even with gaps? Third, what happens if you are trying to create a habit that isn’t meant to be daily? Do you do it daily to begin with? Is it then 21 Weeks? 21 Repetitions? And finally, what happens when we reach our first stressful block? Most of us quickly revert to our old patterns without even thinking about it and need to go about re-establishing our positive patterns once we get a grip on ourselves again.

And of course, even more important, how the heck do you use the 21 Day rule if you are trying to change practically your whole life? Transitioning from one path in life to another also often means making changes in almost every area of our lives. We are brought back, over and over again, to the questions: Who am I? And How do I want to live? (Or even, How do I need to live to be happy and healthy?) That is, after all, what these transitionary periods are about: rediscovering our essential selves.

Which brings me back to running; (I’m only telling you this because I know Wakizashi doesn’t read this blog, I’ll expect you to keep this confidential!) I’ve decided to try the Beginner’s Running Program. I’m not sure whether, once I’m able to do it at all, I’ll want to keep the habit up, or whether it’s just a good way to re-establish walking in my life. But I’ve committed to myself to do a half hour walk for eight days in a row and then see what happens from there.

I haven’t always been so successful (I honestly suck at doing something every day). I’ve run a day, missed the next and had to start over. Only to run three days and miss the fourth and start over, yet again. But I’m not discouraged, or even upset with myself, because having this goal has taught me something I’ve been struggling with for years.

The key to changing your life is to do it one commitment at a time.

There are so many things in my life I’d like to change, so many habits I’d like to implement. (Eat better, do yoga regularly, walk daily, start each day with a devotional time, write each day, yell less at the Kung Fu Master etc…) Trying to implement all these changes at once is near impossible and a “failure” in one area feels like a failure in them all.

But this week, the only thing I’ve cared about, truly been committed to, is the 8 Days of Walking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been more aware of my eating, trying to pop into my private space (even if just for five minutes of breathing) and asking myself each night if I’ve accomplished any work today, but my real focus has been, “Did I walk?”

It may take 21 days to establish a habit, but three weeks is truly a long time when it comes to changing yourself. (Look at me, I can’t even get to four days of walking in a row so far!) When you slip and mess up for the fourth time in a row it’s really easy to throw your hands up in the air and say, “Screw it!”
And trying to make the space to focus on how I think, how I eat, how I exercise, and how much work I do is equally impossible.

Having one, simple, short focus is surprisingly do-able. All I have to do is One thing for Eight days; I can do that. I know I can. And because I know I can, I will. Before I know it 21 days of walking will have come and gone and my habit will be firmly entrenched.

Which is when I’ll be free to move onto a new focus. Getting four yoga sessions in, or one week without skipping breakfast, maybe two weeks of writing 3 pages each day. And who knows how many of my new habits and goals will have quietly established themselves while I was so actively focused on that other One Thing.

The Pyramids of Egypt may be an awe-inspiring site, but the were built by putting each stone in place one at a time just like everything else. Hey, it might take time, but I’d like to think that I can eventually build an Awe Inspiring Life! (And you can too.)

Sincerely,
Megan

p.s. Tips for picking your first One Commitment:
1. Pick something you honestly believe you can accomplish. Each success builds our confidence for the next one, so the first thing needs to be do-able.
2. Pick something that will either naturally create change in other parts of your life (like a ripple moving outward) or something that lifts your mood, energizes, or strengthens you for the harder life changes.
3. Pick something that excites you. Then you’ll be sure to want to succeed at it!
Happy Committing – be sure to let me know how it goes.